Modelling self-care and well-being for students

I’ve always been the kind of person who goes all in. As a millennial, I grew up at a time when being “well-rounded” meant doing everything. Taking the hardest classes. Joining all the clubs. 

That way of thinking did not go away as I began working as a counsellor. If anything, it increased. In counselling, it is easy to fall into that rhythm. You want to show up for everyone. You want to fix things before they happen. You want to answer every email and support every student. I slipped into that mindset without even noticing, always saying yes, always being available, always feeling like I had to keep up with everyone else.

And then, this past October, everything came to a sudden stop. During what is easily the busiest month of the year for counsellors, I ended up in hospital with a virus that sent my immune system into overdrive. I was there for four days and away from work for two full weeks, right when last-minute application stress is at its peak. 

I tried to answer messages from my hospital bed, and later from home, but there were moments when I had to close the computer and remind myself that if I did not take care of my health, everything else could wait.

What surprised me most was how everyone around me responded. Colleagues stepped in without me having to ask. Counsellors from other cities offered to meet with my students online. Friends checked in constantly. 

Yes, the newsletter did not go out and the PSATs had to be rescheduled. I missed several university visits. But the school did not fall apart. 

But the part that stayed with me happened after I returned. I had been really worried that students would feel let down that I was not there during such an important time. But they were not upset, they were concerned. They asked if I was okay and whether I was feeling better. Not a single student blamed me for being sick. 

It reminded me how much teenagers understand, how much they notice and how deeply they can empathise when we are honest with them. Sometimes we forget that they are also learning how to show up when someone is struggling, and we get to model that for them.

That time away made something else clear. I was not burned out but I was definitely on the road towards it. The hospital stay was like a warning light, a moment that forced me to stop and look closely at how I was working. 

I realised how quickly I answered every email, how rarely I slowed down, and how often I treated urgency as the normal pace of my life. I had forgotten that the heart of counselling is not about being constantly available. It is about walking alongside students as they figure out who they are and what they care about. To do that well, I needed to take my own advice.

I started making some small changes:
- I gave myself permission to take up to 24 hours to respond to emails. 
- I am refocusing on what counselling is really about: helping students discover their interests and passions.
- I make time for simple joys outside school, such as taking walks, listening to a podcast or being with my family without multitasking.

These things might sound small, but they have helped me come back to my work with more clarity and a calmer mind.

We are living in a time where student mental health concerns are rising faster than many schools can respond to. Anxiety, perfectionism and pressure are all increasing. But if we want to support students in developing healthier habits, we have to start by looking at our own.

We need to talk openly about rest, boundaries, hobbies and the pieces of our lives that have nothing to do with school. We need to show our students, and ourselves, that doing more is not the same as being better.

And if you are a counsellor or educator who feels stretched thin or overwhelmed, let someone help. Most things can wait until tomorrow, and none of us is meant to carry everything alone.

Healthy students need healthy adults. And if we want the next generation to believe that enough really is enough, we have to model it first.