How to establish boundaries as a counsellor

University counselling is a full-time, dynamic and demanding profession. It requires commitment, dedication and focus as one navigates relationships with various stakeholders – students, parents and the broader school community, as well as universities.

Counsellors therefore need to strike a fine balance. On the one hand, they are building credibility and serving as a trusted authority: a go-to person who demonstrates empathy and understanding for students and parents. On the other hand, they need to practise self-care and boundary-setting, laying out clear expectations for all involved parties. Not setting boundaries and not taking care of your own needs could lead to professional burnout.

There are, of course, urgent situations when we may need to respond to students and their families or to work outside regular hours. And much of our professional development takes place outside our usual work hours.

However, it is important that we also establish boundaries early on and allow ourselves time to recharge and reset. By paying attention to our own well-being, respecting our private time and finding the time to do things we enjoy, we ultimately can do a better job of serving our students.

Counselling: setting clear boundaries

The following can help with establishing clear boundaries:

1. Providing students and parents with a counselling agreement that clearly delineates the responsibilities on the part of the counsellor, the student and the parents in the university search and application process.

2. Teaching students to schedule their emails during working hours and allowing for a response time of 24 to 48 hours, unless in case of an emergency.

3. Pre-booking slots in the counsellor calendar for dealing with administrative tasks, recommendation writing, document preparation, email checking and responding.

4. Turning off notifications for work emails on your phone after school hours.

5. Finding time in the day to do things you enjoy: spending time in nature, reading a book, hiking, cycling, yoga, taking a bath, meditation and mindfulness exercises, spending time with friends and family or just having quiet time.

6. Understanding that you do not have to be alone in this, even if you are the only counsellor in the school. Integrate counselling into the wider school culture and tap into the support networks and expertise of the wider faculty, administration and leadership.

7. Using professional Facebook groups, counsellor events and university fly-ins to network with other counsellors, sharing knowledge and information. Collaboration is key in this profession, and the human connections are what makes this profession so rewarding.

Practise what you preach – and preach what you practise

These techniques are not only useful for us as counsellors – they also help us when working with students. We need to actively work on enhancing students’ mental well-being and resilience.

We need to focus on establishing a connection and really get to know our students in different contexts, demonstrating empathy and showing that we hear them and see them. We need to create a safe and inviting space in our office, make sure we are present and visible, be prepared to also share and be vulnerable, communicate clearly and caringly, so that they can trust us and open up.

Equipping students with techniques for dealing with anxiety and stress, as well as offering lectures on building resilience and what to expect when transitioning to university can be immensely beneficial.