Lord Birt tipped to become access regulator
Wanted: aspiring bureaucrat to head the Orwellian "Access Regulator" that will make universities take more disadvantaged students. Step forward Lord Birt, the ex-BBC boss, who needs a new job after two years dreaming up strategies on Downing Street’s payroll. It is no surprise that Birt is tipped for the job. His loyalty to Tony Blair, and his impeccable working-class credentials, make him the perfect candidate to carry forward the government's plans to discriminate against middle-class children under the guise of helping disadvantaged ones.
Hubble photograph is a bull's-eye
A spectacular "stellar bull's-eye" that suddenly erupted last year to become the brightest star system in the galaxy has been photographed by the Hubble space telescope.
Spear that killed Captain Cook fetches £135,000
A native wooden spear reputedly used to kill Captain James Cook in February 1779 sold at auction yesterday for £135,000. After fierce competition by telephone between collectors in America and Britain, it was eventually sold to an anonymous London buyer who said that he wanted to keep an item of such historical importance in the country.
Student dies of vCJD
A 22 year-old medical student at Tameside Hospital has died from variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Four people from the Oldham area have been diagnosed with CJD-related illnesses over the past three years.