My worst nightmare

At a meeting, I presented a spoof version of a draft funding bid with pieces of complete nonsense, such as that we should:

• Establish a proactive working party to map the impact of bullet point distribution and density on pedagogical effectiveness (the draft was riddled with bullet points)
• Set up an interdisciplinary forum of ritual specialists to devise appropriately interactive ways to encourage uncritical acceptance and use of good practice and other politically sanctioned terms
• Organise globally networked wailing at all universities to mourn the waste of resources poured into daft educational initiatives. It was all nodded through with approving noises.

The writer is a humanities lecturer at the University of Wales.