Five-star rhyme

Staff in the University of Birmingham's Research Support and Business Development Unit have attempted to lighten the gloom of the latest round of redundancies, which were brought about by the failure to fully fund the results of the research assessment exercise. They have composed an "RAE Rap" that goes something like this:

"The RAE exercise
Makes you hypothesise
About your score
How to do more
Four articles, new particles
Enter your best, bump the rest
Conferences, visitors, editors and projects
What are your aims? What are your objects?
Excellence in all things
Hit that bell, make sure it rings
Five star
That's where we are
Less than four - find the door
Vitality, vitality, vitaliteee."