Confetti and condolences: how to celebrate students’ success

At this time of year, counsellors at schools across the world can be found celebrating and commiserating with their students, after universities release their admission decisions.

Inevitably, each year brings much joy but also some disappointment. How schools choose to mark the arrival of such news can differ widely, and how a school chooses to celebrate (or not) can offer an insight into institutions’ differing priorities.

Ring the bell

I used to work at a highly competitive IB school in Hong Kong. The average IB score was 40 (yes, you read that right: the average) out of 45. So, as you might imagine, the stakes were incredibly high, and students would typically apply to some of the most competitive universities out there.

To mark the news of a university acceptance, we had a bell in the IB lounge (student common room) and students would ring it whenever they received an offer. At face value, this seemed like a fun way for students to celebrate getting in to their dream university.

Meanwhile, the school’s marketing team chose to celebrate by creating a “constellation of success” – a giant banner that featured the logos of the top universities where students were admitted. This was proudly displayed outside the school during the graduation celebrations.

But this banner wasn’t at all inclusive – for example, it didn’t include the logos of specialist, niche or less known universities. And it failed to recognise the hard work and success of some students, such as the dyslexic student who was admitted to study fine art at a top UK arts university, or the student choosing to apply to Australia after graduation.

For that reason, some schools are much more circumspect when it comes to announcing university offers, so as not to cause discomfort or pressure for students who might not have achieved the same success as their peers, or those who have chosen to walk a different path.

In such contexts, a quiet celebration, either by email or in a discreet one-to-one, might be a more suitable approach. Marsha Oshima, university counsellor at the International School of Geneva, remarks: “I wish we had a day where the school leadership and staff just found students individually to congratulate them and say we are proud. It seems more meaningful than displays and social media posts.” But she acknowledges that in larger schools such as hers, this would simply be impractical, given the large graduating cohort.

Let’s get physical, physical

Many schools choose to create physical visual displays listing student acceptances. At Brewster Academy in Madrid, students in grade 12 (year 13) collaborate on a shared slide deck, adding the logo of each university making them an offer. This is then displayed on rotation across central TV monitors on campus.

According to Brewster’s director of university counselling, Philip Wenturine: “It gets everyone excited and generates ideas and conversations for students in younger grades too, while also motivating the seniors to be proud of their hard work.”

Some schools let students write or stick the name of their university on a wall. And I’ve known some to have a huge blackboard where students can – in what seems like a very old-school throwback – write it in chalk. This allows for student agency and gives them the choice to participate, or not. It is also entirely student-driven, meaning that counsellors don’t need to add anything extra to their (already lengthy) to-do lists.

Public displays of affection

These days, you need to be on social media to be seen. Savvy international schools invest wisely in marketing teams that know how to work the algorithm and maximise exposure to help with raising the school’s profile but also as a tangible way of advertising to new families and prospective applicants.

Counsellors are the gatekeepers of university acceptance data. Therefore, they are often well placed to work closely with the school’s marketing team to discuss the overall approach to celebrations – they operate on a shared understanding of the school’s priorities, while respecting the need for confidentiality.

For example, at the School of the Nations in Brazil, senior students use the senior bulletin to feature university acceptances, with a star that includes the university name for each offer that comes in. According to university, careers and academic advising the lead Michelle Ray, “Our school is very student-centred, so we can do what they want. We take pictures of them holding the university pennants, and post it on the school’s Instagram. When they are admitted to local [Brazilian] universities, they paint the name on their arms and post it. We try to celebrate as much as possible on the school’s Instagram account.”

Understanding the local culture is an important key to knowing what is (and isn’t) acceptable, both in terms of the host country’s culture and the norms of the school community. For example, in North America, public celebration and individual achievement are culturally reinforced. In East Asia, by contrast, modesty, collectivism or privacy may shape a more restrained approach. However, it’s true that international schools often sit at an awkward intersection of these norms, serving globally mobile families with a revolving door of very different expectations.

Reading the emotional temperature

Culture is also expressed in what is made visible. When only certain universities are named or displayed, schools risk reinforcing a narrow definition of success, which might not reflect the diversity of student aspirations or achievements, or capture the voices of the entire graduating cohort.

Counsellors must be able to read the emotional temperature of their cohort. In some year groups, a bell-ringing ritual might feel joyful; in others, it may heighten comparison at an already vulnerable moment.

There is no single “right” way to celebrate university success. For every high five and Instagram announcement, there may be a quieter moment of consolation (or floods of tears) happening just out of sight.

The challenge for school counsellors is to create cultures that honour both – celebrating achievement without creating more pressure, and recognising that success, like the students themselves, comes in many different forms. Ultimately, our responsibility is to ensure that the process is inclusive, culturally attuned and grounded in a broader definition of success – one that leaves space for both confetti and condolences.