Why I tell my students my story of failure

Storytelling is a powerful tool when counselling students about their future pathways. It allows us to draw on our own experiences – successes and failures alike – and use them to illustrate how we navigated challenges and moved forwards. 

From a student’s perspective, hearing these personal accounts can be reassuring. They see that we survived what once seemed like insurmountable setbacks, and that time often puts such events into perspective. 

Below is an example of how I use storytelling in my practice, along with reflections on why it is so effective. This is a summary of a personal, epic failure that I occasionally share.

My own story of failure

After finishing school, I took a gap year, uncertain about which path to pursue. Like many of my friends, I chose to take time off, although most went abroad. Ignoring the advice of my family, I decided to become an au pair just outside London. Naïve and inexperienced, I suddenly found myself immersed in the strange-to-me world of a wealthy family with values starkly different from my own.

Within weeks, at just 18 years old, I was left solely responsible for a six-year-old child and the family dog in a large, isolated house near a spooky heath, while the parents travelled to America for three weeks. To complicate matters, the house was under renovation, requiring the windows to remain open to dry the fresh paint. 

The situation quickly became overwhelming, and I eventually had to be rescued by my own parents, who came to stay and support me. Upon the family’s return, my father informed them, quite emphatically, that I would be leaving.

At the time, I didn’t fully grasp the extent of my parents’ anger, but they clearly saw that the situation was entirely inappropriate. The experience left me with a crisis of confidence and a sense that I had failed spectacularly. Panicked and uncertain about how to salvage the rest of my year, I felt lost.

After some reflection, I enrolled in a short, intensive typing course and then spent the remainder of the year temping as a secretary at various companies across London. This turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made. 

I gained confidence and developed a wide range of transferable skills, particularly communication, problem-solving and navigating professional environments, which would later prove invaluable in my teaching and counselling career. I worked in organisations as varied as the BBC, BP and Johnnie Walker, gaining a broader understanding of the world of work.

How I use this story with students

I use this story in different ways, depending on the context, but it always opens the door to important discussions. Some key points I highlight include:

Surviving and learning from failure

This experience was undoubtedly character-building. It taught me that every experience, whether it is successful or not, can offer valuable lessons. This is particularly vital in today’s uncertain world. Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control. In such cases, we must accept the outcome, reflect on what went wrong and move forwards.

Perspective

Looking back now, my view of that experience is vastly different from how I saw it as a teenager. At the time, it felt like a disastrous mistake that threatened to taint my future. Today, I reflect on it with a wry sense of humour and a clear understanding that mistakes are inevitable and often somewhat inconsequential in the grand scheme of life.

Resilience

Resilience is a critical skill in today’s workplace, especially for students entering high-stakes fields such as healthcare. The ability to recover, rethink and approach problems differently is essential for overcoming challenges and making the most of opportunities.

Adaptability

Adaptability is increasingly important in a rapidly changing world. The rise of AI and evolving work environments mean students must be ready to pivot, embrace new methods and remain flexible in the face of constant change.

Reflective learning

Developing the habit of reflection is crucial. Students benefit from regularly reviewing situations and considering how they might have acted differently. In my case, I might have heeded my family’s advice, trusted my instincts or spoken up sooner about my concerns.

Sense of humour

Humour can be a valuable coping mechanism. When I share this story, I do so in a way that is light-hearted, illustrating how I have come to view it with a sense of amusement rather than regret.

Responsibility and accountability

It is also important to discuss accountability. Although I initially blamed myself, I now recognise that the family I worked for should never have placed me in that position. Helping students understand who is responsible in a difficult situation is part of building critical thinking and self-awareness.

Hope

Storytelling opens the door to meaningful conversations on topics students can relate to. It reassures them that everyone faces challenges and that these experiences can lead to growth. Ending stories on a positive note gives students a point of comparison and hope. Breaking down the experience and identifying the skills gained turns personal narratives into powerful learning tools, helping students see how their own stories will shape their unique and exciting life journeys.