Why counsellors are the ideal role model for students

The intensity of a school counsellor’s daily work often leaves little time and space to reflect on the effect their own behaviour may have on their students. 

However, counsellors are uniquely positioned to influence young people in a way that parents and teachers are not. As a counsellor, you typically don’t have to handle disciplinary issues or school-related conflicts in the way that teachers do. And students are generally more receptive to your guidance – where they may dismiss their parents’ opinions immediately.

An email from a student whom I had helped get into a UK medical school sharpened my perspective on this aspect of our role. He wrote to me after his first year as a junior doctor with the NHS, and related how he had initially suffered from impostor syndrome. But then he realised that his acceptance to medical school had actually been a result of his hard work and dedication. 

Interestingly, he attributed part of his success to me: “The only one person who was working harder than me at the time was you. And you pushed me to keep working harder. You motivated me. I would always go back to you to tell you what I had done, how much I had accomplished, and you would focus on the things I hadn’t done or accomplished. So I would then leave your office thinking, ‘I need to do more.’ You gave me solutions: ‘This is what you’ve done, and this is what you can do next.’” 

To maximise your influence as a role model and ensure your students’ future success, consider focusing on the following key areas.

Encourage ethical behaviour

Counsellors who demonstrate integrity, honesty and ethical decision-making set a standard for students to follow in their academic and personal lives. 

Be open, fair and consistent in your actions with all the students you work with. Create clear and unambiguous policies regarding potentially tricky areas, such as declaring all results on applications. A student who connects their success with this approach will be more likely to adopt a similar style when they enter the world of work.

Promote mental-health awareness

By prioritising self-care and emotional resilience, counsellors can normalise discussions about mental health and encourage students to seek help when needed. 

Drawing on your personal experiences can be helpful. For example, if you are discussing a situation that is causing the student stress, you can mention that you have been in similarly stressful situations and discuss how you dealt with them and managed to move on. This will enable your students to see that particular coping strategies can work. 

A simple “how are you?” when you notice a student showing signs of stress can encourage them to open up and share their concerns. Being calm, compassionate and understanding in your interactions encourages appropriate and effective communication – another relevant career skill. This is particularly important if students are facing stressful and difficult times in their home environment.

Inspire academic and career success

When counsellors are active lifelong learners and aspire to professional excellence in their work, they motivate students to pursue their own goals with dedication. 

When I read about a student’s success on LinkedIn recently, I offered a congratulatory comment. His response was: “You told me once learning never stops!” This was years after he had finished school, illustrating the relevance of the messages we give to students, albeit sometimes very casually. 

Students’ lifelong-learning mindset can be encouraged by sharing Future Learn or Coursera, and you can also advise them to prepare for career success through EvolveCareers.

Foster inclusivity and respect

By embracing diversity and treating all students with respect, counsellors serve as role models for creating inclusive and welcoming environments on campus. This then encourages appropriate behaviour when students pursue their career ambitions.

Build strong interpersonal relationships

In an era increasingly shaped by social media and digital engagement, prioritising meaningful social interaction is essential. 

Engage your students in direct conversations about the importance of effective communication, networking and maintaining a positive outlook, as these skills are crucial for their personal and professional growth. To reinforce this message, my counselling team has cultivated a warm, welcoming and supportive environment in the office, where students are always encouraged to seek guidance. 

We have an open-door policy and ensure that, even when busy, we arrange dedicated meeting times to provide students with the support they need. Counsellors who exemplify kindness, encouragement and proactive support help create a school culture where students feel valued, motivated and empowered to succeed.

Encourage leadership and initiative

By taking on leadership roles in student organisations, initiatives or advocacy efforts, counsellors inspire students to step up as leaders themselves. 

If you have a shy student, gently promote activities that will help build their confidence. Draw on parallel experiences of older students to illustrate how they can overcome this shyness. Select career ambassadors to strengthen student agency, encouraging them to take ownership of their roles while upholding the positive ethos of your work.

Support resilience and perseverance

When counsellors openly share their own experiences of overcoming challenges, they help students build resilience and persistence in their studies. 

I often draw on my own gap-year experiences, which began with a disastrous attempt to become an au pair (popular at the time and something my family was vehemently opposed to). Talking through how I dealt with the realisation that I had made the wrong decision, and how I moved on, provides a useful example of how to view “failure” as an opportunity to learn.