Laurie Taylor column

Two fifths of academics fail to take proper leave and many struggle to fit any summer holidays between exam boards and clearing. New research suggests that this deprivation can have serious psychological effects - The Times Higher, July 14

UNIVERSITY OF POPPLETON
From: Mike Bratby, Head of Human Resources Management (formerly Mrs Rogers of Personnel)

It appears that many Poppleton academics are failing to use their holiday allocation. Research from Luton and Leeds universities shows that such failure may lead to psychological problems and impair commitment to ongoing strategic goals. This office has therefore designed a range of alternative holiday options.

Visit your own campus
Why not spend a couple of days visiting the more far-flung parts of your campus? Many academics are unaware of the fascinating nooks and crannies that lie just across the service road from their department.

You could cycle to your planned destination, spend a night in an individually decorated student room and prepare supper in a specially provided food preparation area.
Professor Lapping writes: "I've just returned from a long weekend in Philosophy. What a treat! During the whole time there I never saw another soul."

Foldaway deckchair
Even in the busiest academic day there are moments when it is possible to take a short-break holiday. Our new deckchair will fit into the average briefcase and can be erected in seconds.
Dr Quintock writes: "Thanks to your deckchair, I had an excellent ten-minute holiday behind the bike shed immediately after last week's faculty meeting. Keep on trucking!"

Tour of the v-c's house
Why not enjoy a brief heritage holiday by taking advantage of the vice-chancellor's decision to open his house to academic visitors? Inspect the original royal charter and take your turn at swinging the reconditioned mace. Enjoy the range of cultural artefacts collected by the vice-chancellor during his overseas obligations and relish the exciting collection of paintings (formerly The University Gallery).
Ted Odgers writes: "It certainly raised my class consciousness."

I hope this clarifies the situation.

Mike Bratby (signed in his absence by Mrs Rogers)