Laurie Taylor Column

April 29, 2005

"A new guide challenges assumptions that disciplines such as religious studies are of little use in the workplace" - The Times Higher, April 22.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

This is to certify that III has successfully completed a degree in religious studies at the University of Poppleton. I am now pleased to provide a brief list of the distinctive pedagogic qualities that have been acquired by the named student during this course, together with an indication of their practical relevance to the contemporary workplace.

1. Graduates in Religious Studies from the University of Poppleton are well qualified for positions within the insurance industry. They have proved themselves particularly adept at determining whether or not events that might give rise to substantial claims are indeed Acts of God.

2. Graduates in Religious Studies are also in demand in businesses that call for meticulous calculation skills. In such sectors they are able to draw on their acquired expertise in calculating the numbers of angels capable of occupying the head of a pin.

3. Graduates in Religious Studies are ideal for positions in organisations that subscribe to a top-down control-and-command structure where the emphasis is on the relatively infallible qualities of the CEO.

4. Graduates in Religious Studies are also at an advantage in workplaces where a stress is placed on flexible working. Their familiarity with the concept of "three in one" inclines them to be amenable to notions of doubling up and job-sharing.

5. Graduates in Religious Studies are also well oriented towards management objectives. Those who have become familiar with the Eightfold Path to Buddhism, the Five Pillars of Islam, the Rambam's Thirteen Jewish Principles of Faith and the Ten Commandments are more ready than most to subscribe to Core Mission Statements and Strategic Objectives.

6. Graduates in Religious Studies may, in certain circumstances, be ready to accept poorer pay than many of their fellow graduates on the grounds that their true rewards may lie in the hereafter.

Yours in the (probable) living God, Professor D. W. B. Dingbat

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