A very special lunch

December 17, 2009

One of the university's best-loved traditions was revived last week in the snack bar of Michael Gove College when some of our most senior administrative staff reversed their usual roles and spent nearly an hour of their own time serving academics.

Among those dishing up "turkey with all the trimmings" was our thrusting Director of Corporate Affairs, Jamie Targett, who donned a full waiter's outfit for the occasion. He told our reporter Keith Ponting (30) that he'd "thoroughly enjoyed" this rare chance to meet ordinary academics. He added: "In the normal course of managerial events, it's so easy to forget the academic side of the university."

There was a grand finale to the meal when the vice-chancellor appeared in the guise of "Santa Claus" and jovially distributed some gaily wrapped early-retirement packages.


From Roger's mother

Dear Editor,

I am so sorry to bother you at this busy time of year, but I wonder if anyone on your prestigious campus might know the whereabouts of my only son, Roger.

In the past, Roger has always joined me at home for a traditional Christmas dinner at which he has brought me up to date with his life and time at your illustrious university. This year, however, he has been strangely silent about his Christmas plans.

I'm afraid that I'm unable to tell you the name of his department because he telephoned me earlier in the year to explain that as he'd made so little impact he'd been restructured and sent to a part of the university that he only described as "the knacker's yard".

Neither, I regret, do I know any of the names of any of his colleagues or their positions, although I think I do remember him going on quite a lot about a man called Targett who was currently employed by your university as "a tinpot dictator".

If you come across Roger, would you please let him know that this year, instead of the traditional turkey, I will be cooking a pot roast of pheasant with shallots and caramelised apples. And for afters, there will be his all-time favourite, chocolate bread and butter pudding.

Please also tell him that even if no one else at your celebrated university loves him, he still makes a big "impact" upon his old mother.

Yours sincerely


Here we go. Once again. That special time of year. Old friends. Not forgotten. Memories. Goodwill. All about children. Those less fortunate. Pagan beginnings. Tidings. Message still relevant. Too much consumerism. All faiths. Around the fireside. Nook. Not just for one day. Peace. Love is the key. James Stewart. Raise a glass. Good cheer. All you wish yourself. No edition next week.


(contributed by Jennifer Doubleday, Head of Personal Development)

I'm sorry to disappoint so many people, but I'm afraid that the Boxing Day Anger Management course is already fully booked. Please do your best to control yourself until the New Year.


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