As Christmas carols ring out in the aisles, the Diary has received the first entry for this year's worst Christmas greeting competition. It's a calendar produced by Intellectual Partnerships Consulting, which sets up corporate universities. It is lavishly decorated and each month shows a different learning model in which styles of learning are depicted as scientific. The coloured circles linked by arrows illustrate concepts such as "learner gates", "intellectual leadership indicators" and the layout of "the cockpit of management - reading the dashboard".