University admissions are no laughing matter, but Steven Schwartz, the Government's fair access guru, managed to raise a titter at last week's Sutton Trust conference. Professor Schwartz opened his speech with a story about a delegate's reaction to a previous conference paper he had delivered. "Oh, you really should have that published," the delegate told Professor Schwartz. Professor Schwartz replied that a busy schedule meant that finding time to publish was difficult. "Perhaps I'll have it published posthumously," he quipped. "I can't wait," replied the delegate.