Running a university is a weighty business. Thankfully, Edinburgh University's academic affairs, planning and secretariat department is taking its job very seriously with the issue of new guidance on biscuit consumption. The department's head has sent out a missive explaining the urgent need to "establish and maintain the rota for biscuit monitor". The system is pleasingly rigid: there is one tin for plain biscuits and one for chocolate. Who said university life isn't wild?