"Passports for pets" may have gained popularity with animal lovers' campaign against Britain's tough quarantine regulations. But it is too late for one university which, in order to tempt a particular transatlantic professor, has not only to find the study leave, new carpets, decent computers and relocation grants on offer to most newly appointed profs, but also has to pay the costs of putting his two dogs in kennels while they serve their six-month quarantine.