The party launching the Times Higher Awards, held at the National Portrait Gallery last Wednesday night, was a glitzy affair that for many will remain a bit of a blur. But in the sober light of day we will play fair. We won't tell you which scientist came out with the immortal line: "When I first met you I thought you were hot, but I saw you tonight and changed my mind." And neither will we disclose which senior figure invited a surprised fellow guest back to his hotel room to get more intimate.