Anyone who doubts the ability of the average academic in the wooing stakes will be heartened to hear about the plotting of one romantic professor. The man, we'll call him Don Juan, had to organise a surprise celebration for his 50th wedding anniversary. Determined to pull out all the stops, he tried to book a table for his wife and a crowd of his colleagues at The Times Higher Awards ceremony in November. Sadly, all tables are booked, so his wife may be treated to something a bit more intimate. Might we suggest that a football match may not go down well?