Wads not words important here

Struggling in clearing? Prospective undergraduates whose parents have A$100,000 (£42,000) burning a hole in their pockets could have found the perfect alma mater.

This amount will buy students a "more better education" at the Australian International University, where speaking English and passing exams is of secondary importance. Online personal ads and a casino satisfy the most exacting students' extracurricular needs - and access to the university's "extensive library" is provided free of charge via a well-known internet bookseller.

Application packs can be requested on the spoof university's website at www.theaiu.com .