Say it with knitwear

Most would make do with a carriage clock. But Peter Knight has received perhaps the most bizarre retirement gift in higher education history. The former vice-chancellor of the University of Central England is the proud owner of a balaclava, complete with holes for the eyes, mouth and ears. It is, apparently, a replica of one he was given as a child to ensure he could hear oncoming traffic and avoid accidents. Photographic evidence of the garment will be gratefully received.