Dogged breed

Any vice chancellors tempted to gamble their way out of financial problems should heed the findings of research at Southampton University, which shows why "going to the dogs" is such a bad idea.

Analysis of the psychiatric characteristics of 49 canine breeds showed that greyhounds were the most placid. They exhibited "low aggressivity" and "low reactivity", indicating they might be better suited to a post at the University of Poppleton than a job at the racetrack.