A hard life for freshers

University College London's student magazine, Pi , paints an unappealing picture of life as a fresher at the college.

Term started with weeping first-years unable to contact their mummies because the telephones in hall don't work. Shortly after that, more halls were flooded with sewage. Then the student bar alienated bitter drinkers when it decided to stop selling the beverage - and, to top it all off, the said bar then lost its late licence for three months, including Christmas.

On a brighter note, Pi comments: "London University... is superior to Oxford in academic standing." But at least you can get a pint of Best in Oxford.