The institute of bad ideas

October 14, 2005

If you need green ink for that grant application form, if you want to contract undergraduate teaching to Mumbai, if your department requires morris dancers-in-residence, or if your cat needs welding, please contact the Institute of Bad Ideas

Dear Dr Locke,

Institute of Bad Ideas

Thanks for your think-tank's latest suggestion as to how Tate Modern might utilise its celebrated Turbine Hall. Imagine our delight at receiving yet another four-volume "thinktionary" kit on this matter with yet another CD-Rom that doesn't work. This time you have excelled yourself with the concept of installing a turbine in the Turbine Hall. You say: "The space within the Turbine Hall is ideally suited for a turbine." You go on to observe that it would reduce our electricity bills and make a statement about carbon emissions. Something in this reminds me of your last idea - using the cavernous 3,300 square metre Turbine Hall for nano-art viewed through microscopes. In May, you proposed filling the Turbine Hall with bricks - "you like bricks, don't you?" you said. In March, you suggested we exhibit the flayed body of Rolf Harris, "mounted on a cross of pure pomposity". And, of course, you phoned a fortnight ago to implore us to instal bronze statues of Victorian generals on stone plinths. Have you ever considered a job with the Arts Council?

Jemima Githam
Tate Modern, London

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