They knew what Robert Kilroy-Silk was really trying to do, they have all read The Da Vinci Code, twice , they plan to dine on Turkey Twizzlers tonight and they agree that the RAE should be given more time. They are the Institute of Bad Ideas.
Dear Dr Connolly
Institute of Bad Ideas
Thank you for your letter of September 19. Contrary to your assertions, Burton Menswear, as a leading gentlemen's outfitters, takes the defence of Western civilisation from terrorism very seriously. But we reject your demand to suspend the sale of oversized trousers. Your "thinktionary" kit, with its malfunctioning CD-Rom, seems to imply a causal link between baggy trousers and terror simply because a number of terrorists and "dodgy" individuals, including Osama bin Laden, the London bombers and, bizarrely, "clowns", have worn such clothing. Furthermore, my colleague Mr Gittleby points out that many of your "facts" are wrong - Spartacus, in fact, wore a skirt, Lenin straight slacks and Wayne Rooney shorts; the pop group Madness did not write "an anthem to sedition"; and Charlie Chaplin did not play a key role in the crushing of the Prague Spring. You conclude that while it is important to defend the right to wear correctly fitting trousers, sacrifices have to be made to prevent terrorist organisations "from destroying the Western inside leg measurement". Are you quite mad? You're spot on regarding Patrick Kielty, though.
Mark McGitty Burton Menswear