Counselling resource: the (other) 80:20 rule

The effectiveness of counselling is increasingly linked to listening to students, rather than giving them guidance. The 80:20 rule encourages students to speak for roughly 80 per cent of the session, leaving only 20 per cent for counsellor input. This symbolic ratio shifts sessions from directive advice to student-centred exploration, empowering learners to take ownership of their decisions.

The 80:20 rule: how does it work?

Establishing trust and rapport

Trust grows when students are given space to express thoughts, uncertainties and aspirations. Counsellors play a vital role in supporting students as they discover their own unique qualities and navigate their experiences.

Transitioning to the “real world” can be challenging. But by prioritising listening over guidance and creating a non-judgemental atmosphere, counsellors can help students articulate their motivations and concerns, and connect them to supportive networks, including alumni groups and professional mentors.

Balancing knowledge with reality

The 80:20 rule means that counselling sessions move beyond simple information-sharing about universities and careers. Instead, we discuss the advantages and challenges of different career paths – providing reality checks where necessary.

I encourage students to do independent research before forming any conclusions. This helps develop critical thinking and responsibility: essential traits for lifelong decision-making.

What does the 80:20 rule look like in practice?

The 80:20 rule involves purposeful, open-ended questions designed to evoke awareness. Rather than offering ready-made answers, students are guided toward discovering their own insights through questions such as:

• What does success look like for you?
• Which activities energise you the most?
• What is the purpose of choosing this career?

These prompts encourage deeper introspection, helping students identify values, strengths and career possibilities aligned with their aspirations.

Equally important is the deliberate use of pauses and silence. Silence is treated not as an empty space but as time for reflection. When students are given time to process their thoughts, their responses become more meaningful and often produce new clarity of thought. 

Then the student’s 80 per cent is where the exploration happens: voicing fears, motivations, ideas and potential pathways.

Example scenario 1

A year 10 student might enter a session saying, “I don’t know what subjects to pick.”

Using the 80:20 rule, instead of providing an immediate list of recommended subjects, the counsellor might ask:

• Which subjects do you feel most connected to?
• When you imagine your future, what kinds of activities or environments seem exciting to you?
• What choices feel aligned with who you are becoming?

As the student talks through their fears and interests, the counsellor offers brief reflections such as: “I hear that creativity energises you” or “It seems you value keeping options open”. 

The student arrives at a decision with clarity and empowerment, rather than feeling guided into it.

Example scenario 2

If a student says they’re feeling pressured to pursue a particular career, the counsellor can facilitate deeper understanding by asking:

• What part of that expectation feels hardest for you?
• If the pressure wasn’t there, what path might you consider?

Here, the counsellor’s gentle listening creates emotional safety. The student leads the exploration and the counsellor steps in only to help the student hear themselves more clearly.

Goal-setting and motivation

Once the student has a new sense of clarity, they will map out actionable steps, short-term goals, long-term aspirations and accountability mechanisms, working together with the counsellor. 

Celebrating small achievements – even through simple acknowledgment – reinforces motivation and builds momentum. Over time, students cultivate self-driven enthusiasm to explore and research their career paths independently.

Combined with questioning, reflection and goal-setting, this method nurtures confident, self-aware and resilient individuals who are ready to navigate life and careers independently.