Counselling activity: writing a letter to your future self

When I first began my counselling career, I thought my duty was primarily helping students to make decisions: what to study, what university to apply to and how to revise for exams. Now, and especially as a result of the CAP, I understand that my deeper duty is to help them envisage themselves in the future – who they might be – and to help them see they get there.

One of my best (and most outlandish) weapons in my arsenal for this, is what I call “The Future Self Letter”. It is quite simple, but its effect has been profound – even tearful, for both myself and my students.

What the letter looks like

I ask students to write a letter to themselves in the near future, maybe five or 10 years from now. I have them envision:

• Where they will be living and studying or working.

• What values will be driving their decisions.

• What challenges they will have faced and how they overcame them.

• What advice they would give to themselves when times get tough.

Initially, most students smile with embarrassment or even roll their eyes – write a letter to myself? Seriously? But once they begin to write, something changes in them. They stop overthinking and begin to dream aloud on paper.

Why it works

The Future Self Letter allows students to practise hope. It builds self-awareness and enables them to ask “What do I actually want?”. It normalises challenges and helps students to overcome them. 

An example

Last year, I had one of my quieter grade 10 students put pen to paper about how he was terrified of speaking in front of an audience. He wrote about how he imagined he was at university and confidently leading a presentation. In the letter he even wrote a short pep talk to his “younger self”, where he told himself not to give up. 

We tucked his letter away and two years later he brought it up. He had joined an after-school debate club, volunteered as a lead in his class, and had just completed his first speech at a school assembly. When he shared with me, he said: “When I read that letter, I realised that I had become the person I once hoped to be.”

This is when I realised that the activity was more than just reflective writing – it was a bridge between who the students are and who they want to be.

How to try it yourself

If you’d like to try this activity, here is what I have found works for me:

1. Frame it gently. I say, “This is an opportunity to imagine your life in 10 years from now, and write a message of hope to yourself.”

2. You may want to offer prompts. Some students may need a prompt from you, and I ask: What does your daily life look like? What kinds of challenges would you face? What sources of support would you have?

3. Give quiet time. Allow the students to write in quiet (without disrupting each other) for 20-30 minutes. Some students will write pages and others will write a few lines. That’s OK.

4. Optional sharing. Invite students to share a line or two with a peer if they wish to. This often allows for deeper conversations.

5. Seal it. Students can seal the letter in an envelope to be opened at graduation, or they can email it to themselves and delay the delivery if possible.

It is simple and costs nothing and you can engage individuals or the whole group.

You should not expect them to produce perfect letters. You should expect to see honesty. Expect uncertainty. Expect surprises. It is not what they write that should be the focus, it is the fact that they were willing to think about something outside of their daily life.

As counsellors, we give students the gift of being able to carry those dreams forward, and maybe, years from now, open a letter to remind them: “I always believed in you.”