Would you credit it?

"New allegations of plagiarism by senior academic staff" - The Times Higher, November 23

November 30, 2007

Well, Comstock, I have some excellent news for you.

Really, Professor Lapping?

Oh yes. Really excellent news. I'm delighted to tell you that the article based on your PhD is first-rate. Absolutely first-rate. In my opinion it is highly likely to be accepted by a good quality peer-reviewed journal.

That is good news.

I was particularly pleased to see that you took my advice on a number of important issues. I see, for example, that you have followed my advice on page numbering.

It was very helpful.

And that you've also incorporated the revised spelling of Schopenhauer.

Thank you for that.

And you've also taken on board my suggestion that you use the word "summary" rather than "conclusion".

Thank you again.

In fact, Comstock, you've made such good use of my input that I'm prepared to offer you a rather special accolade.

Accolade?

That's right. I'm so pleased with the standard of your work that I'm prepared to add my own imprimatur to your paper.

You mean?

That's right. Instead of plain "Comstock", I am happy to let this paper go forward to a journal bearing my own name. Lapping and Comstock.

Lapping and Comstock?

Indeed. And now, I think it is time to celebrate. Please pass me the sherry bottle. That's it. And now please raise your glass for a small toast.

Who should I drink to?

Isn't it obvious, Comstock. Let's drink to us. Down the hatch. Is that the phrase?

It sounds just right.

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