Laurie Taylor Column

From : The Office of the Vice-Chancellor

To : Dr Piercemuller Subject: Job Evaluation Dear Dr Piercemuller, As you may know, this university has recently adopted a new system of job grading known as the Higher Education Role Analysis scheme (hereafter Hera). This has been introduced as part of the new 7.7 per cent, two-year pay deal, which allows all university staff to move to a single pay spine.

The Hera system involves the independent compilation of job evaluation scores for all members of the university. I am, therefore, writing to let you know that your score, according to the latest analysis, is .2 per cent.

This is in the lowest section of the job evaluation score sheet and, to give you a sense of the context in which you find yourself, I list below the '' evaluation section for this university:

• Mike Newell, car park attendant (physics block), .8 per cent
• Glenys Cooper, catering assistant (Full of Beans veggie bar), .7 per cent
• Gordon Shanks, latrine blockage officer, .5 per cent
• Bob ( Mrs Dilworth, fill in full name ), part-time gardener, .3 per cent
• Dr Piercemuller, senior lecturer media studies, .2 per cent
• Meg Totting, deputy cleaner (Monsanto biology block), .1 per cent.

This evaluation means that your current salary will be revised to make it commensurate with that accorded to those who share your position on the Hera scale. It will accordingly be reduced from £36,071 per annum to £3.75 an hour. Based on the number of recorded hours of solid work carried out by you last year, this will mean a reduction in your annual salary of about £24,000.

I'm sure you will be disappointed by this news, but you might take comfort from the knowledge that there are others (one might mention Meg Totting), whose work is regarded as involving even less skill and application than your own.

I am pleased to inform you that your new grading permits you to claim a uniform allowance from the university. (You may also be entitled your own broom.) Yours most sincerely, The Vice-Chancellor (signed in his absence by Mrs Dilworth)