Laurie Taylor Column

UNIVERSITY OF POPPLETON
Urban Blight Conference
August 4-7 2003

Dear Delegate,

I am now enclosing travel details to assist you with your journey to Poppleton for the above conference.

HOW TO GET HERE BY CAR
You are strongly advised to avoid all main roads to Poppleton. In general the ring road is misleading (N.B. The university campus is a tow-away zone)

BY RAIL
High-speed trains regularly pass through Poppleton at high speed

BY CANAL
The Poppleton branch of the Grand Union Canal is navigable as far as the western side of the Science Park and during inclement weather up to the Conference reception desk in Mandela College

BY AIR
Poppleton is nowhere near an airport

ON TWO WHEELS
Poppleton University is a CWC (Cyclists Welcome Campus). The spot penalty for cycling in non-cycling areas is £50

CONFERENCE TRANSPORT BUS
The public bus service from the campus to the main attractions of Poppleton leaves the United Tobacco Research Centre at two minutes past every third hour (ask to be put off by the Arndale Centre)

COACH
A specially commissioned coach service will be available to take delegates back to the campus after the conference dinner at the Bengal Lancer (Soiling charge: £25)

DISABLED ACCESS
The disability officer will meet disabled delegates at their first point of arrival and point out the inaccessible conference venues

HOW TO GET BACK
Follow the appropriate directions as given above backwards

Bon voyage.