Pirate's code

September 28, 2017

On the matter of vice-chancellors’ pay, and with apologies to Messrs Gilbert and Sullivan:

I am the model of a university vice-chancellor
On any given question I’m a very able answerer
I’ve headed working parties and committees oh so plentiful
That when I get a budget I know rightly how to spend it all
I deal with students, quangos and it’s me I feel they’re getting at
But the very worst to deal with is my ghastly professoriate
And on my meagre wages I deliver what you want from me
But keep your gob shut if you have a view about their quantity.

John Bateman
Senior teaching fellow
Department of business and management

University of Sussex


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