How many students does it take to change a light bulb on the campus of a Scottish university? One academic, who does not wish to be named, has come up with the answers
- At Glasgow University, it takes 76 - one to change the light bulb, 50 to fight for the bulb's right not to change and 25 to hold a counterprotest
- At Strathclyde, five - one to design a nuclear-powered bulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Scotland using the nuked bulb, two to install it and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch
- At St Andrews, five - one to arrange the party, two to co-ordinate the press, one to call the electrician and one to get daddy to pay
- At Napier, only one, but he receives ten course credits for it
- At Dundee, ten - one fits the bulb, and nine petition for the electrification of Dundee
- And at Edinburgh, just one - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.