His dark materials? Denied

十月 14, 2010

Thank goodness the UK Border Agency is protecting universities from undesirable aliens ("Visa stranglehold chokes recruitment", 7 October). We all know that a little knowledge transfer is a dangerous thing.

Nonetheless, the visa rules for highly skilled immigrants can challenge our capacity for innovation. For example, recently our Young Extraterrestrial Intelligence (Yeti) programme had a most promising application from a recognised dark matter cloud just beyond the Andromeda galaxy. The applicant, -1 Nietsnie A, wished to apply his antimatter reversal expertise to generate the government's "Big Society" instantaneously.

Combined with our university's expertise in economic time travel, Nietsnie also developed a plan to send the UK budget deficit into the distant past, near the original "Big Buck". Sadly, under immigration rules that exclude most economic migrants, he can't comply with the requirements for biometric information, such as fingerprints and photographs, as he is invisibly "dark". His communications with Earth are composed of tachyonic particles generated from Andromedan superconducting bodily fluids. The UKBA insists it is used to looking for loopholes, not wormholes.

Woody Caan, Anglia Ruskin University.

Please login or register to read this article.

请先注册再进行下一步

获得一个月的无限制地在线阅读网站内容。只需注册并完成您的职业简介.

注册是免费的,而且非常简单。一旦成功注册,您可以每个月免费阅读3篇文章。:

  • 获得编辑推荐文章
  • 率先获得泰晤士高等教育世界大学排名相关的新闻
  • 获得职位推荐、筛选工作和保存工作搜索结果
  • 参与读者讨论和公布评论
注册

欢迎反馈

Log in or register to post comments